When it comes to pleasing ourselves, girls know exactly what we like and how we like it. But, when we’re young, we can’t necessarily find the ways to order dildos, vibrators, or other sex toys that can stimulate our senses. So, we use whatever we can find, really. No shame here, ladies–you do you (literally). The women of Reddit revealed some of the strangest things they’ve ever used to get themselves off, and, some of it is just…wow.
I used to have a bed with a ball on the post (the post was only about about 2 feet high and the ball on the post was quite small) and I remember using that.
2. RIP Elmo.
when i was younger (late middle school/ early high school age i think???) i realised my old tickle me elmo doll felt very nice when it shook as it “laughed”. so, being a creative youngster, i cut it open and took out the part that vibrated it. i unscrewed that and cut out the speakers so it wouldn’t make that laughing noise every time you push the button, put it back together, and voila! lil me’s first vibrator.
A curling wand. Obviously wasn’t plugged in. But a little warmth makes it that much more real.
One of those tubes of M&M minis before I was old enough to buy a real sex toy. It worked well. I think they still sell these, lol
5. Bare minimum.
A blanket pulled tight up between my legs that I humped at til I came. It was awesome.
I made a contraption using a spoon with a thick plastic handle, and the spoon part cupping this little soft toy I had that had a pull string vibration motor in it. I’d have probably preferred it to be a motor with a battery but I just worked with what I had!
I imagine if I’d ever been caught it would’ve looked like I was try to start a tiny chainsaw inside myself.
7. Poor Scoob.
One time when I was 14 I straddled a huge Scooby-Doo I won at Kings Island and road him to Kingdom Cum. I only got to do it once though because I busted him open. I was cleaning up that weird foam filler for weeks.
8. Mom probably used it too.
Battery operated 90s squiggle pen. Also this weird pedicure machine thing my mom had that was basically a vibrator with detachable heads? Some of the heads were very soft plastic with grooves. Not sure what you’d actually use them for.
I found a finished roll of one of those sticky lint removers, and the handle was pretty phallic shaped. To keep it even smoother and easier to use I took a rubber glove and put one of the fingers over the handle and just tied the rest around the non usable portion.
It worked pretty well when I was 16 until I finally got the courage to just go buy a real dildo.
10. By any means.
When I was a horny pubescent 12 year old — markers. I even tried using those toys that were fashionable at the time – they were squishy and filled with gel but resembled dildos (in my mind). Obvi didn’t work out well. Also experimented with the vibrate setting on a cellphone. Certainly humped a few pillows.
11. Game on.
N64 controller with a Rumble Pak. I just walked Mario into a corner and rumbled away.
12. Back to school.
It was the only thing readily available that could pass undetected in my room when I was a teenager.
13. Ken, maybe?
Definitely not a Barbie doll leg..
My ex told me she used to grind on her stuffed animals faces because their bead noses and eyes felt nice. When I visited her house, all her stuffed animal’s faces were a little wonky. We had a good laugh about it.
A snake plush toy.
10/10 would f*ck a snake again.
Do you remember those keychain things kids used to make with those linguine shaped colored plastic strings? They would weave them together to make multicolored long thing keychain. Yeah. One of those. At church camp. When I was very young. See you all in hell.
17. The best Happy Meal.
When I was about 13 I bought a happy meal and it came with some toy drum sticks (which were suspiciously thick.) Used one of them as a dildo and that ladies and gents is the story of the first time I squirted.
I once made a dildo out of legos…
A hot dog with little bites allover. I was trying to make it “ribbed for her pleasure”